Bayonetta 3 review: An instant classic that feels like a proper old-school, content-packed Nintendo adventure

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Mario, Kirby, Zelda, Donkey Kong, Samus Aran, Bayonetta. The witch has made it to the upper echelons of the Nintendo elite with Bayonetta 3, and any doubt about her status as mascot character for the House of Mario has been dissolved in a cauldron, fizzing with demon blood, keratin, and rocket fuel. With the chant of an incantation and the click of a delicately gloved finger, Bayonetta 3 secures the Umbran Witch as a Nintendo icon – maybe even usurping some of the more… family-friendly… faces in the roster in the process. Bayonetta 3, Switch owners, is essential.

And it starts not with a bang, but with a whimper. The introduction to the game is slow and irritating; making you trudge, as Bayonetta, through a world that’s being torn apart by some unknowable entity of chaos. You can’t run, you can’t jump, you can’t fight – you just stumble around as the life gets sucked out of this world you once called home. A ragtag band of heroes lays dead around you, and you’re forced to watch as a spunky young upstart of a witch tears through the barriers of reality, desperate to save… something.

Welcome to Bayonetta 3, one of the most pleasingly nonsense games you’ll have the pleasure of playing this year. Hell, maybe even this generation. That languid intro seems intentionally placed to show you just how fast and furious the actual game is. Once you’ve cleared the prologue and the stakes (read: the multiverse) have been made clear, you cut to your hair-powered, sassy witch, mincing down the streets of LA like a femdom en route to a gala. The proverbial shit hits the metaphorical fan, and it’s time to fight – and right away, PlatinumGames shows you that it’s back in gear and ready for business.

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