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^Stay tuned for Jim’s video essay on the genius of Vampire Survivors.
Teasing around the edge of the mob, moving in concentric circles so as to maximise the surface area of your garlic aura’s damage zone. An instinctive, brushing motion. Methodically scrubbing arcane horrors from the world as you would coffee stains from tooth enamel. Since the mobile release, both rituals conducted at once, either side of bed time. The life of a Vampire Survivors Enjoyer is, in essence, spiritual.
And once it sinks in, it rarely leaves your thoughts. I’m reminded of that summer long ago, when me and my childhood best mate whose name I can’t remember got obsessed with the then newly released WipeOut 2097 on the PS1, and spent the entire school holiday playing it religiously. Rinsing it until we’d unlocked the Piranha, fully gestated a lifelong love of The Prodigy, and conditioned ourselves to expect the family car to get a speed boost every time it went over a road marking, just like the speed pads in the game. Now, every time I close my eyes, I’m seeing experience orbs hoovering into the wee whip guy, swirling like a galaxy into his blocky chest.
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