Nuts to Mario: How a £10 discount made me a 'Wario Kid' for life

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Long before Nathan Drake entered his first UNESCO Heritage site with a charming grin and an empty backpack, Garrett stalked The City’s shadows in Looking Glass’s Thief series, or Persona 5’s Phantom Thieves awakened their Personas (and a love of crime), Wario was guffawing and filling his pockets with ill-deserved loot.

He’s been guzzling garlic and pilfering treasures across Nintendo titles since – would you believe it – 1992. In that time, his brash, irreverent brand of chaos made him an unforgettable figure in the Mario universe. For some of us, he’s become a renegade idol. Mario’s just a bit of a square, a bland normcore hero. Meanwhile, Wario couldn’t care less what people think of him; as a kid, I idolised him for that. His unapologetic gloating schadenfreude was a rude revelation for kids like me who’d been excessively drilled into meek obedience.

These days, as a far less polite adult, you may not think I’d applaud a brash treasure hunter with a Victorian ringmaster moustache and chronic halitosis. But if you ask me, Mario’s had more than enough screentime. It’s a crime greater than any Wario ever committed that he’s not the one on cinema screens, billboards, and bus adverts the world over. And I know I’m not alone in thinking that.

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