Chocobo GP is a truly lovely kart racer suffocated by DLC and season bullshit

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As a verified Final Fantasy obsessive, I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for Chocobo Racing, the PS1 kart racer that’s basically a light-hearted series mash-up. I was sad when an announced Chocobo Racing revival never surfaced for Nintendo 3DS despite being announced – so I was naturally thrilled when Square Enix revealed Chocobo GP, a new FF racing title for the Switch. But, after only days of play, I’m done. I’m out.

Chocobo GP is a great kart racer. Genuinely. It’s not Mario Kart, obviously, but I’d definitely pop its core mechanics and feel into that top tier of kart racer alongside things like Sega & Sonic All-Stars Racing and Crash Nitro Kart. But… for some reason, this game is, like, a mobile game?

I need to be clear here. Chocobo GP is a more or less full-priced game. It’s on the ‘budget’ end of modern pricing at $50/£40, but I consider that a full game. So why on earth is it immediately giving me opportunities to buy Mythril, an in-game currency, for real cash? As soon as you boot it, it feels like one of Square Enix’s gacha-driven mobile titles like FF Brave Exvius or Record Keeper, right down to time limits on how long you can hold currency, login bonuses, and all that stuff.

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